I Can't Not Worry, M.

My dear and sweetest, M.

I can't help but worry about you and wonder how you are fairing.

I hope you know that we miss you dearly and wish we could at least see you again very soon.

I have had many thoughts about how you are doing and they have not been good thoughts. I have worried that you are biting yourself more frequently, worried that your caretaker may be more strict with you and more aggressive with you, and worried that you are forgetting us.

These thoughts have no serious basis but it is the only thing I can think about when I know how sensitive a creature you are. I know it doesn't take much for you to become upset, frantic, fearful and begin biting. So, I just have to wonder that those things that were occurring before you began living apart from us are still happening as the days of our separation continue to widen.

It pains me to think that any of those possibilities could be true. I pray to god that they are not. But I know how daddy and I took care of you and understood, most of the time, your temperament. But not knowing your caretaker or your birth dad very well, it makes me think otherwise, and I know that I shouldn't, but I know that the deepest part of me wants the best for you in every part of your life.

Obviously, the unknown is killing me and I just want to get even a glimpse that you are okay.

I pray that you are.

I hope that you are.

I want to know that you are.

More than okay...

I love you so much and miss you more than my words can express.

I ache just writing this to you.

You are my little creature that I will always love no matter where you go in life.

Love always,

Your Momma