What? Huh? What Did You Say?

Okay, I'm realizing that I am spending too much time wondering if any one is going to read my blog. Not because it's great or anything, though the new look is pretty cool. But because I've realized that I have this need to know if people like what I've written. Okay, yes, that is a selfish and egocentric way of thinking. But if I'm honest with myself, then it actually is partially what this blog is about.

One it is a way for me to express myself. As I am better at writing it than articulating it verbally. I was never diagnosed with dyslexia, but I sometimes have wondered in all these years that I may have a mild case of it. I know what I want to say, and can even see the words I want to use, but once it comes out my mouth, well, that's just a whole different story.

Here's a simple example - It is an old one but a classic case for me:

One day, a long time ago, I was trying to tell my friend, Ann, that I had eaten something very yummy. I told her what it was but she was having a problem understanding what it was I was trying to say. She even was asking questions to help me to describe the food item. But I just kept repeating the word, because that was what coming out of my mouth. Well, after about five minutes of confusion, the light bulb went on for her and she just started laughing and could not stop for what seemed like at least five minutes. While she was laughing, I began laughing, though not knowing why I was laughing other than thinking - It was something I said and I wanted to desperately know what it was that was so funny.

Finally after composing herself and trying to reassure me that she wasn't really laughing AT me, she got it through my head that I was saying the food item backwards. I apparently didn't get what she was trying to convey to me but I accepted what she said and tried to say the food item in a more clearer form.

She finally had to ask me, 'do you mean, Fruit Cocktail?' I said, 'Yes, Cock Fruit Tail!' So happy that she finally figured out what I was trying to say. And she said it again, 'Fruit Cocktail, Kim'. And I said, 'Yes, it was Cock Fruit Tail, sheesh!'

Then BANG! like lightening hits a tree - it totally struck me that I was utterly making a fool out of myself by what I was saying.

I had been saying Cock Fruit Tail and I had no clue. Thankfully, she was so patient and sweet about it, though we did have a good laugh at my expense. Oh, well!

So, even to this day, I have transposed that canned fruit name many a times, and many a times probably didn't even realize it.

So in the twenty years that Michael and I have known each other, I have transposed a lot of words in our conversations. And we've gotten a lot of mileage from those incidents.

With all of that said, I just needed a place to get my thoughts down, my emotions in check and hopefully some one out there will enjoy what I write about. But if they don't well, I'll get over it.
I hope... :0}

But if I remind myself the deeper reason of why I have created this blog, which was to express myself through the written word, then I really don't have the need to know what others think.
And so I will just enjoy the process of writing and leave my need for personal gratification of others' opinions aside.